


That's What She Said

by Lmj21



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: "That's What She Said", Cute, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Romance, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3621018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lmj21/pseuds/Lmj21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for this Dragon Age Kink Meme prompt:</p><p>"Basically Inquisitor bursts out with "that's what she said" at the most inappropriate times with Cullen. Just looking for something on the light and humorous side!</p><p>+ slightly crack!fic<br/>+ Inquisitor is extremely proud of her "that's what she said" quips and pretty much high fives herself every time, lol<br/>+ Cullen's reactions range from baffled to exasperated to lightly amused<br/>+++ banter"</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's What She Said

**Author's Note:**

> Based on prompt but roughly following key moments in canon relationship between Inquisitor and Cullen.  
> And structured as five times the Inquisitor burst out with "That's what she said." And the one time Cullen said it.
> 
> Any comments/kudos very much appreciated.

Their First Conversation:  
Cullen stood framed by the Frostbacks, an impressive sight under any circumstances but with his eyes lit by the enthusiasm of his words he was breathtaking, the Herald suddenly understood why this seemingly mild man had been recruited as commander.

“There’s still so much to be done. With or without chantry support, we could achieve so much more than…I’m sorry, you didn’t come here for a lecture.” His zeal only slightly curbed by a natural bashfulness that should not have been half so alluring as it was.

“No, but if you had one prepared I’d love to hear it.”

“Another time perhaps, it won’t do to stand idle for too long.”

A messenger appeared, going straight to Cullen:“Lady Cassandra demands your urgent attendance.”

“As I was saying,” he smirked at the Herald, then turning back to the messenger he added: “I’m coming.”

 

“That’s what she said.” The words had blurted out of the Herald’s mouth before she’d had time to censor them.

“What? Did Lady Cassandra plan to meet here instead?” Cullen asked sincerely, thankfully he’d obviously never heard the expression before.

“No. It’s a…never mind.” She could feel her face heating slightly and bit her lip. This was not the first impression she’d intended to create.

“Well, I’d better get down to business.” He nodded to signal his departure, but before she could control her tongue she’d answered again.

“That’s what…nothing. Thank you for your time Commander.”

He left with a smiling turn of his head, the Herald was grateful that he did not see her slapping her hand to her own forehead in embarrassment.

 

Their First War Council

Their fingers ran over the map, sometimes tapping decisively at areas at other times fanning out looking for opportunities. The Herald was new to this and found it difficult to follow the nuances of her advisors arguments. Eventually she became aware that they were all looking at her, expecting an answer of some sort.

“I’m sorry could you repeat that?” She asked, stifling a yawn.

“Ambassador Montilyet was suggesting we send a small envoy to the Duke to show our appreciation for his support,” Cullen began, although his voice was calm, his eyes narrowed in disapproval, “although I understand her viewpoint I don’t think we can risk sending an unarmed unit to a man renowned for his brutality.”

“We hardly have a choice Commander,” Leliana’s voice joined “The first sign of hostility and he will withdraw his tentative support altogether.”

“You may not like it Cullen, but I think Leliana is right.” Josephine soothed. She knew his advice was not based on a love of needless violence but on concern for all those who served the Inquisition. His shoulders sagged as he exhaled through his nose.

“Perhaps, your own expertise may be better suited elsewhere. We do have other on-going concerns to occupy your troops until this matter is dealt with.” The Herald gestured to the markers on the map.

“Yes, of course you’re right.” Cullen acquiesced, nodding to Josephine who immediately began drafting a letter of introduction. The Herald gave him a consoling smile.

“I’m fine,” Cullen responded honestly “I’m just finding it a little hard to swallow.”

“That’s what she said.” The Herald laughed, desperate to relieve the heaviness of the room. To her delight, Leliana and Josephine guffawed alongside her, clearly appreciating the much needed humour as much as she. 

Cullen’s jaw hung open for a moment; his face blushing as he finally understood what the Herald meant when she used this choice phrase of hers. 

“Ah, it appears Cullen has never heard such crudeness before.” Leliana teased.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Leliana.” He bluffed, daring a glance at the Herald whose teeth shone bright against her plump lips as she laughed. Their Herald was a surprising woman, he thought.

Their First Night Out of Haven

Their faces were illuminated by the camp fire. Now their herald had returned, resurrected from the snow all of her companions, friends, treasured the time they spent together as they journeyed to their new home.

This night was like so many others, their rationed ale warming them as they exchanged tales and watched the stars. This evening, Bull was telling the stories with his chargers interjecting with various corrections and digressions.

“Alright!” He cried after one interruption, “Do you want to hear about my first dragon or not?”

“Sorry.” Krem soothed, as the others nodded for him to continue.

“So, I saw this beast and, wow, my blood started pumping you know. Its wings. Its fucking wings, just unfurling, covering the sun. I was literally stood in the shadow of a dragon and I thought ‘I don’t even care if I die right now, life will never get better than this.’ But then its eyes turned on me and I knew, just knew, what I had to do.”

Cullen had been inspecting the change of guard watch and was close enough to hear the story, he hadn’t realised that he was deliberately loitering but found that he was impatient to hear the rest. From his position he could also clearly see the Herald’s face in profile. He was learning to appreciate the sight all over again after the close brush with death and as he watched shadows dancing over her face he found himself captivated by her rapt expression as much as the words themselves.

“Go on.” Urged Varric, loving the experience of wallowing in a good tale as much as he enjoyed telling them.

“Well, obviously it died because I’m still here to tell the tale. But before I left it, I made peace with it. I respected it and I brought one of its teeth away as a souvenir.”

“Why, what happened to it?” The Herald asked her eyes wide with wonder. Cullen felt awkward now, he should have just joined them when the story had begun, but now he found himself rooted in a dark corner between two tents, close but not close enough.

“What happened to it?” Bull repeated, enjoying the attention. “What happened is this…” Bull drew a sword from a sheath on his back and held it out for them all to see. There were a few startled gasps as they realised that the blade was in fact not made of steel but of sharpened enamel. A dragon’s tooth.

“That’s huge!” One of the chargers said in admiration.

“That’s what she said.” The Herald punctuated the awe with her standard punchline, Bull slapped his thigh as he laughed along with her, leading the rest in their laughter. Laughter which rang through the camp.

“You are a filthy woman, Boss. I like it.” Bull said, nudging her affectionately. Cullen had laughed quietly along but shook his head when he saw the easy companionship she shared with others. He was sad for a moment that he’d not taken his place beside her at the fire earlier but realised now that there was no place for him there, perhaps at all. He returned to the darkness beyond the tents.

Her First Defeat at Chess

Despite his uncertainties, the days at their new home had been happy so far. Skyhold was secure enough that he could take some breaks from his work and was gratified when he’d discovered that the Herald, now inquisitor, shared his love of chess.

It was only a small shared interest but he clung to it dearly. 

“This may be the longest we’ve gone without discussing the Inquisition. If I’m honest, I appreciate the distraction.”

“Me too.” She smiled at him, her eyes flitting up through her dark eyelashes. She must know what she’s doing, he thought. No-one looks at another like that if they don’t…no, he couldn’t allow himself to consider the possibility that she returned his feelings. She needed support and friendship, nothing more.

She was studying the board; he was studying her. The usual arrangement. She moved decisively, a phoenix was placed precariously close to his keep. He bit his lip, surely she wouldn’t be deliberately leaving herself open to this attack? Unless, had she grown tired of the game? Did she want him to win just so it could be over?

“Do you want me to take you?” He asked, inwardly cringing at the vulnerability in his voice.

“That’s what she said.” She laughed a lower, dirtier laugh than he’d heard from her before, the shock of her voice combined with her penetrating look did things to him that felt suspiciously like magic. He found himself laughing along with her, unable to resist her childish innuendo. He leant forward to flick her piece away from the board; she instinctively drew her hands away and sat up straighter.

“Yes, well, I believe this game is mine.” He leant back in his chair, attempting to appear confident while his heart pounded beneath his armour, unable to react to the rapidly changing mood of the scene.

“Of course Commander. You are playing a novice after all.” With that she stood, for a moment she looked as if she may speak further, but clearly changing her mind she simply smiled at him once more before leaving the garden. His composure sunk the minute she was out of view, his head falling into his hands. Why did she always leave him feeling such an idiot?

Their First Ball

The targets had appeared in the marble corridor, their voices low but echoing. The Inquisitor shoved Cullen behind the pillar just as the guests began walking towards them. There were some key words “Briala” and “death” being two of the more disturbing ones.

Despite the danger of their situation, Cullen couldn’t help but enjoy the intimacy of sharing this secret space with her. They’d kissed once before this night, it had been a blur but also a relief, calming the near constant insecurities that had been plaguing him since…he didn’t know how long. His heart was beating faster and he could see her own breaths quickening, her breast rising with each gasp, not that he was looking. He rearranged his face quickly, hoping she hadn’t noticed.

They remained frozen in their space as the figures passed dangerously close, he felt her give his hand a gentle squeeze where it remained clasped from where she’d grabbed him earlier.  
The figures began to pass them by, the voices becoming heated. From their position, they could hear a jangling of keys as the targets unlocked, shuffled something, and then relocked a small chest next to their hiding place. As soon as this was done the two elves left in opposite directions.

“Keep watch, I’m going to see what they’ve hidden.” The Inquisitor whispered to Cullen.

“Fine, but be quick.” He gave her a swift, chaste kiss on the lips before she slid out of the shadows. He heard her fumble briefly, then a latch clicked and she muttered a curse under her breath.

“I think someone’s coming your way.” Cullen warned, hearing an upstairs door open. The Inquisitor would be in full view but he would be hidden.

“Shit. I need more time to examine this.” She moaned.

“Just hurry up and give it to me.” Cullen responded, holding out his hand so she could slip the secret documents to him.

“That’s what she said.” She quipped automatically as he hid the find and heard a lilting voice greet her. He clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes popping at the silliness of her joke at this moment.

“Ah, Inquisitor, have you lost your way?”

“Indeed, I was looking for the gardens, I have been told they are a beautiful feature it would be a shame to miss them…” As the formal conversation drifted out of the corridor and the door closed behind them, Cullen finally let out the laugh he’d been stifling, feeling giddy and alive.

Their First Argument

It was a thoroughly miserable day in Skyhold, sleet lashing the roof remorselessly, Leliana’s ravens were returning with nothing but bad news and the Inquisitor had barely seen Cullen since the Winter Palace.

Pulling a cloak around her, she decided to venture out onto the battlements to clear her mind. She bit at her nails, brow furrowed in frustration trying to shake her terrible mood. A few sullen guards nodded to her as she passed, the wind lashing at her face.

She hadn’t told her feet to bring her there but before long she found herself in front of his door. She sighed, shook her head, too proud to knock and began to retreat instead. 

Barely five paces away she felt a hand on her shoulder, a weight she recognised instantly.

“Were you going to pass by without saying hello?” Cullen’s gruff voice hit her. She cringed before turning around to face up to him.

“Hello.” She pouted, trying to communicate all her fears and insecurities into her look.

“Well come inside at least, it’s hideous out here.” He tried to pull her closer but she resisted.

“I’m sick of being cooped up inside.” She grumbled, although a fire and some shelter did sound lovely.

“Very well.” His voice has light, could he really not read her mood? “Would you object to me staying with you at least?”

“I won’t stop you.” Cullen frowned at her a little, unsure as to how to proceed.

“It’s a…rough night.” He ventured, hand automatically brushing the back of his neck.

“Honestly Cullen, I didn’t come here to speak about the weather.” Her arms flailed uselessly at her side. She could face down assassins, demons, even her own parents, but this man…

“Ah.” He at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“I’ve barely seen you since we danced together…” 

“Oh Maker, don’t remind me of that!”

“So you do regret it!” Her brow pursed, she’d dreaded to hear that he was having second thoughts but at least now she knew.

“What, no! Of course not…I. Do you?” His body was becoming uncomfortably close to hers and she was struggling to hold the thread of her ideas together.

“I didn’t think it would be possible to want…this…not with the constant threat of death quite literally hanging over us.” She began.

“Me neither,” Cullen said sadly, trying through the gloom to fix the rift he’d seemingly created in their relationship “If I seem unsure it’s because it’s been so long since I’ve wanted anyone in my life. I…do you even want this?”

“Maker Cullen, you’re making this very hard for me.” She sighed, exasperated by his reluctance and at her own difficulty in communicating her feelings.

“That’s what she said.” He sniggered, a red flush painting his face, when she met his gaze he was too embarrassed to hold it for long.

“I didn’t know you had it in you!” she laughed with delight.

“Again, that’s what she…” he ran a hand cautiously over her cheek.

“Oh no you don’t, that’s my joke.” She pushed his chest playfully.

“Maybe you inspire me.” He pulled her in for a kiss and they forgot the doubts and fears. 

The approaching guard did a quick about turn as he spied his Commander and Inquisitor locked in an embrace.

“They’ve made up then.” His comrade called to him.

“It’s about bloody time!” He responded, pleased that there was still some happiness in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you enjoyed it all kudos/comments very welcome :)


End file.
